Scars
by ethomas737
Summary: Kili runs off one day and lands himself in a spot of trouble. Will Fili be able to save him in time? Lots of Kili whumpage and protective Fili, Thorin, and Dis.
1. A Spot of Trouble

Fili's brow furrowed in frustration as sweat glistened on his face. He had been searching for Kili in the woods for hours, and surely it was almost time for supper. Defeated, Fili sat down on a nearby rock, slumping his shoulders with exhaustion and cursing Kili under his breath for running off again.

Ever since Kili was a child, he was always running off into the woods for whatever reason. If Kili was happy, he'd go off into the woods. If Kili was mad, he'd be in the woods.

Kili had stormed off early in the morning after having yet another fight with Thorin. They seemed to always have something to argue about. It was something that Fili never understood about why they were always shouting at each other. Fili had let him be for a few hours, thinking he would be home mid-day, but when he never came back, Fili started to get worried. Despite his mother's and uncle's protests, he went off in search of his beloved baby brother.

Even though his brother was something of an idiot, he was secretly jealous of him. Kili was several inches taller than Fili and even Thorin, and was much leaner and more agile than any of the dwarves. More than once, Kili had been ridiculed ever since he was born for his elf-like senses and natural behavior, and especially his excellent bowmanship. Even to the day, Fili was amazed by Kili's skills with the bow. He practically carried it everywhere, and always took good care of it. Not only was Kili good with the bow, but had mastered the sword and throwing knives as well. Fili always saw Kili as more of the fighter of the family, while he himself was something of the protector or guardian.

But one thing was certain.

He _loved_ his precious baby brother.

And he would protect him until the day he died.

* * *

A loud rumbling in the distance startled Fili, bringing him back to his senses.

_Kili. Kili. Oh Durin, please don't let anything happen to Kili._

His prayers were left unanswered.

Frightened out of his mind, Fili ran as fast as his legs would allow him in the direction of the rumbling. He quickly stumbled upon a dark cave, clouded with dust and debris. Coughing, Fili went inside, swinging his arms this way and that, trying to rid of the dusty clouds fogging his view. "Kili…?" Fili whispered, "Are you in here?"

A soft groan answered in reply.

Fili's heart nearly exploded. _He's hurt. He's hurt. _

_He's hurt_.

Fili couldn't even see him, yet he knew something was wrong. "Kili, Kili where are you?"

A pitiful cry rang in Fili's ears. He stumbled over rocks and crevices until he made his way deeper into the cave, to find his brother.

Buried.

Under piles of rock.

The only thing visible was his right leg and the side of Kili's face, twisted and contorted in pain.

_Oh Durin, no._

_Kili._

"Kili, I need you to stay with me, okay? I need to go get help. Stay with me okay? Please, Kili, I need you to stay with me. Kili?!" Fili was almost shouting.

Kili acknowledged with a small flutter of his eyes. That was all he could muster.

Eyes wide with fear, Fili started out of the cave, only to stop short as another cry escaped Kili's lips.

"I will save you, brother."

And with that, Fili was gone.


	2. Promises

"HELP! HELP! HE'S TRAPPED!"

Thorin ran outside to see his nephew, Fili, looking bewildered.

"Fili, Fili, look at me," Thorin said, grasping Fili by his shoulders. "What's the matter?"

"Thorin, he, he-," Fili started choking on his own tears.

"Say no more," Thorin said, knowing exactly was Fili was talking about. "Take me to him."

"Wait-wait. We n-need more dwarves! Th-Thorin.. he's buried.." Fili's body started trembling as tears flowed freely down his face.

Thorin's heart caught in his chest.

_Buried_. His beloved nephew was _buried_.

* * *

Kili couldn't help but whimper with pain as he lay on the cold, dewy ground of the cave, under the mass pile of rocks. He had a vague sense of what had happened-all he remembered was the chaotic rumbling as the ground was pulled out from underneath him like a carpet and his head hit the ground with a sickening thud, sending him into unconsciousness.

Kili had awoken in excruciating pain; his body felt as though it were on fire. He tried to move, but no avail. His only free limb was his right leg, but whenever he tried to shift his body, black dots swarmed across his vision, making him light-headed.

_Fili_.

Alone in the pitch-black cave, Kili longed for his brother to come back. He had wished he would've just stayed with him, talked to him, so Kili could find comfort from his voice.

A sudden desperation gleamed in Kili's eyes. _What if I'll never see him again? What if I...I die?_

Tears started pouring out, from the pain, from the desperation, from the longing to see his brother. His brother was always there for him, as he was always there for Fili. It was a promise they silently kept each other.

But would Kili be able to keep it?


	3. Lies

As quick as lightning, Thorin had gathered a company of dwarves. This company included, Balin and Dwalin, Thorin's two best friends and fellow warriors, for they had been fighting in battles together for as long as he could remember. Thorin also recruited Gloin, another sturdy fighter, and Oin, the town healer.

But Thorin couldn't even bear to think of his nephew, buried under piles of rock, alone and injured. He simply couldn't. He was leader, he had to remain strong for the sake of everyone-his sister, his people, Fili, and-

_Kili._

Even though the two of them were constantly yelling and arguing with each other, Thorin had always admired Kili for his strong will and determination. Kili resembled Thorin so much, he almost thought he was his son. Of course, the two nephews had grown to close to Thorin over the years, Thorin had always considered them to be his sons.

But there was also something in Kili that frightened him, even intimidated him sometimes, but Thorin always had a hard time figuring out what it was.

And he dreaded the day that he did.

* * *

Fili was running ahead of the rest of them, eager to save his brother. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, sending him into a complete frenzy. If it weren't for the tears running down his face, Thorin and the company would have though him to be mad.

"It's just up ahead!" He shouted to the rest of the group, huffing and puffing behind him, trying to keep up with the younger dwarf's agility and stamina.

"Kili!" Fili shouted as he sprinted down the hill into the cave. The dust had cleared out, leaving a strange, dewy atmosphere that chilled Fili to the bone. He couldn't imagine how Kili must be feeling. Fili ran over to the mass pile of rocks.

"F-F-Fili..? I-Is t-that y-y-you?" Kili's teeth were chattering from the cold. Fili noticed how pale his face had gotten, and it frightened him.

Fili kneeled down as close as he could without moving the rocks. "It's okay. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay? I just need you to hold on just a little longer," Fili whispered. The rest of the company had already started talking among themselves, figuring out the ssafest way to get Kili out.

"It-it hurts, Fili.. it hurts," Kili's breath was coming out in wheezes as he struggled to hold on to whatever life was left in him.

"I know, Kili, I know. But I need you be strong. Just for a little while longer," Fili said to him, trying to maintain his composure. He couldn't break down again, not in front of his brother. He needed to brave, he needed to be strong if he wanted to save him.

Fili turned to Thorin and the rest of the company. "Thorin, what do we do?"

Thorin replied gravely, "We are going to have to remove the rocks one by one. But slowly..if we jostle him we might risk further injury."

The group of dwarves began their work, save Fili, who remained at Kili's side to comfort him. Durin only knew what pain he would be in after they removed the rocks crushing his body.

Without much difficulty, the dwarves got rid of the rocks surrounding Kili's lower half, only to find three large rocks pinning him down. One was crushing his left leg, while the other two rested on his abdomen and rib cage.

"On the count of three," said Oin, "we are going to lift this one," pointing to the one on Kili's leg.

Thorin made eye contact with Fili sending a silent message.

_It was going to hurt._

"One, two..," Oin began counting.

A flash of fear and realization flashed on Kili's face.

"Three."

Fili had never heard a sound so blood-curdling. Kili screamed and screamed, and no matter what Fili said, there was no way of comforting him in such a state. Fili watched, painfully, as blood started streaming out of a deep gash above Kili's knee. Oin automatically put pressure on the wound, sending Kili into a further state of pain and frustration. Kili's screams had died down, and turned into a low groan. His face was unnaturally white, and sweat shined on his face. His eyes were shut tight, as if in hopes of blocking out all of the pain.

"Hey..," Fili whispered. Kili's eyes opened at the sound of his voice. "I'm right here okay? We just have to get rid of the rest of these rocks and then we can go home. Together. Everything's going to be fine," Fili said.

And for the first time in his life, Kili knew he was lying.


	4. Giving Up

Thorin sighed as he looked at the pained expression of Kili's face as they removed the last rock on his abdomen. He had prayed to Durin to relieve him and send him into unconsciousness, but the young dwarf was just too stubborn. _I guess it runs in the family_, Thorin said to himself.

Oin made quick work of bandaging Kili's wounds. So far, Oin predicted he had several broken ribs and a bruised abdomen, and not to mention the foul-looking gash above Kili's left knee. And Durin only knew what was hidden behind the other three rocks. Two of them guarded his upper left arm and shoulder, while another incredibly large and ferocious one lay on his right hand.

His _hand._

Without his hand, Kili couldn't his bow, and without his bow...

Losing his bow would be like losing his identity.

_You cannot lose hope yet, _he cursed himself for losing hope so quickly.

_But is there any hope left?_

* * *

"We must be swift, yet careful," Oin said to Thorin and the rest of the dwarves, huddled in the back of the cave. They didn't want Fili, let alone Kili, to overhear their predictions. "I fear the wounds to follow will be far worse, and he is struggling to hold on," Oin continued, "He is at risk of infection and most likely already has a fever."

With that, the dwarves returned to Kili's side. "Fili, I need you to go on the other side. Make sure his eyes stay fixed on you," Thorin whispered.

Fili acknowledge with a short nod, moving to Kili's other side and cupping his face in his hands. "Kili, I need you to look at me, that's it, that's good. Keep your eyes on me okay?"

Luckily Kili was able to move his head now that all of the other rocks had been removed. He glanced up at Fili, eyes tired.

"I'm exhausted, Fili," he muttered. "I can't take this anymore."

Fili's eyes welled with tears. His brother wasn't one for ultimatums. He never had been. But the raw seriousness in Kili's voice shook Fili to the bone.

"Don't you dare give up on me," Fili whispered.

But Kili had already closed his eyes, his breath fading.

"Thorin! THORIN! He's giving up!"

Kili's body sagged, his muscles relaxing after the long hours of tension.

"NO! KILI! DON'T GIVE UP!" Fili was shouting, bursting with tears.

But Kili was already gone.


	5. The Pureness of Love

An eerie silence filled the cave as they watched Death grab hold of Kili.

Kili, the warrior.

Kili, the scholar.

Kili, the nephew.

Kili, the son.

Kili.

The brother.

Sullen expressions grabbed at the faces of the company of dwarves. They were all too stunned to mourn the death of Kili.

Except one.

Fili had been shaking Kili with such ferocity that Thorin had to grab him to hold him back. Fili tried with all his might to fight the grasp of his uncle, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't break through to get to his brother.

To get to his best friend.

Kili.

"Enough," Thorin breathed in Fili's ear. "Stop this. You aren't making matter any better by acting like this."

But Fili would not listen. His cries rang out like a banshee, piercing the hearts of all the dwarves. He dropped to his knees and for the second time that day, felt utterly defeated.

"It wasn't supposed to end this way," Fili sobbed into Thorin's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him in a tender embrace.

"We cannot change the fate of the ones that we love," Thorin whispered. "But we can learn to accept that everything happens for a reason."

Fili's sadness immediately boiled into furious anger. "How could you say such a thing? Do you believe that Kili deserved this fate?" Fili roared, turning on his uncle.

"Fili, I-" Thorin started.

"No, no, you don't get to explain. Don't you understand? All his life he has done _nothing_ but try and live up to your expectations. And this is how you treat him? Like dirt?" Fili yelled, swinging his arms around like a mad-man.

The dwarves remained silent, awestruck. Even Thorin had no words to say.

"Is this how you treated Frerin when he died? Did you stand over his dead body and say 'everything happens for a reason?" Fili ranted, mocking Thorin.

Thorin eyes flared with a newfound loathing. _How dare he bring Frerin up in this situation._ "That's enough, Fili," he said sternly.

"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU ARE NOT _MY _FATHER, NOT _HIS_ FATHER," Fili screamed, pointing at Kili. "SO STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!"

For once, Fili understood Kili's constant anger. He could feel it coursing through his veins, sending his every nerve on edge.

"HE'S MY BROTHER! AND NOW HE'S DEAD!" Fili fell to the ground next to his brother, eyes watering, body trembling. "He's dead.."

Fili's adrenaline rush seemed to have backfired, because now he lay by his brother's side, unmoving. "Go away," he said to the others. "I want to be alone with him..one last time," Fili said mournfully.

Thorin, now filled with a sorrow like no other, turned and motioned to others to leave the cave.

"Five minutes. We'll be outside," Thorin said, trying to keep his composure.

As they left the cave, Fili looked at his baby brother. His face, dirty and caked with blood, lay motionless, an empty expression on his face. It was weird for Fili to look at Kili, once so full of life and happiness, now filled with death and despair. Taking his baby brother's cold face in his hands, Fili whispered to him, "You know, you were many things Kili. Angry, foolish, and sometimes even downright stupid, but you were my brother. You will always be my brother."

_Always._

"And no matter what happens, I want you to know that nothing can bring up apart, okay? Nothing."

Tears flowed down Fili's cheeks, splattering on the cold floor of the cave.

"I love you, Kili. I love you."

Fili gently kissed his brother's forehead, and moved to rest his head on Kili's shoulder.

_I love you._

* * *

A soft, gentle breeze ruffled Kili's hair and tickled his skin. Laying on the forest floor, with the leaves rustling and tall trees around him, Kili slowly opened his eyes. A warm smile formed on his face, he was home.

_Home._

Yet he was so far away.

As Kili rose from the ground, he noticed how pure the forest felt. The trees seemed to be whistling to him, calling him to an unforeseen place. The ground felt airy beneath him, as if he were standing on a piece of cloud. His mind felt empty; he had no thoughts or worries.

Kili started to walk, unsure of his destination. But he kept walking, until he finally came to a beautiful arch, woven with tree branches and leaves and flowers of all different kinds. Smiling, Kili stepped forward to enter the archway.

"Kili!"

A voice from behind startled Kili. He swore someone had called his name.

"Hello?" Kili called out, surprised at how empty his voice sounded.

No reply came from the depths of the forest whence he came.

Kili turned back to the archway, confusion masked on his face. What he had once thought to be so pure, had turned rotten with disease.

A voice rang in his head then, "This is what they will become," the voice said as Kili watched the archway fall into decay. "This is what will happen, if you leave."

If you leave.

The strange words resonated in his head. Glancing back up to the archway, now glowing with healthiness and life again, Kili felt something. Something clicked in Kili's brain. Kili wasn't quite sure what, but whatever it was, it saved his life.

And as it clicked, Kili turned on his heels and ran. Towards what, he didn't know.

But he wasn't going to wait to find out.


	6. Make or Break

Fili turned away as Thorin and the rest of the dwarves removed the rest of the rocks resting on Kili's maimed body. Then they went outside once more, to discuss how to break the news to Dis.

Dis was Fili and Kili's mother, always loving and protective, yet assertive when she needed to be. Fili always knew that she secretly favored Kili over Fili. Although she never mentioned anything, he could see it in her eyes. The way they lit up when she looked at him. She always seemed to be praising Kili more than Fili. But Fili was okay with that, because came to accept the way that the other, older dwarves looked upon Kili with pride more than he.

But none of that mattered anymore.

Because Kili was gone.

Kneeling beside Kili, he looked over his injuries. More than half of his body was covered in blood and bruises. But what frightened Fili most of all was his right hand. The rock had been removed to uncover a completely mutilated hand: all of the fingers were bent at awkward angles and there were several deep gashes and cuts across his palm. Fili felt yet another pang of pity for his brother. Had be been alive, he wasn't sure how his brother would cope with his injuries.

But none of that mattered either.

Because Kili was gone.

Grabbing Kili's other hand in his, Fili choked out, "I'm so sorry Kili." Fili squeezed his hand tighter and tighter, as if by doing so all of his suffering would be eradicated.

But then he felt a squeeze back.

Fili was sure he was hallucinating, but he had to make sure. "Kili..?" Fili eyes poured onto Kili's face, searching for any sign of life. But surely not, his face was so pale, and he wasn't even moving. _Come on, Kili, move._

As if on cue, Kili's eyelids gave a flutter. A soft moan emanated from his lips.

Kili was alive.

"THORIN! HE'S ALIVE! THORIN!" Fili screamed in amazement, suddenly feeling hopeful again.

The dwarves rushed into the cave, all kneeling around Kili.

"F-Fili?" Kili whispered faintly.

Tears of joy sprung from all of the dwarves' eyes. "It's okay, Kili, I'm here. I'm gonna protect you okay?"

"Okay..," Kili muttered.

Suddenly Kili's eyes shot open as he screamed in pain.

"We need to move him _now, _Thorin, before it's too late," Oin started. "We will need to make a wooden stretcher for him to lay on for the journey back."

All of the dwarves worked as fast as they could, but it was hard to see without any light. The evening had turned into night, and the only light they had was that of the stars above them. Once they had the makeshift stretcher ready, Kili was carefully laid on it. Each of the dwarves grabbed a side and hoisted Kili into the air. By now, Kili had slipped into unconsciousness, which was probably for the best. Dwarves were not the most graceful of creatures, and the journey back would be a rather bumpy one.

Steadfast determination gleamed in the eyes of the company, especially Fili. He had lost his brother once, and he most certainly wasn't going to lose him again.

* * *

After laying the still unconscious Kili on his bed back at the house, Oin immediately began assessing his wounds. Although Kili was alive, things weren't necessarily looking up for him.

Fili watched, fascinated, as Oin swept over Kili, putting ointment on his wounds and wrapping them swiftly.

"Fili," Oin said, snapping his fingers. "I need you to hold these herbs underneath his nose. We need to wake him up now."

Fili did as he was told, taking the green and blue leafy herbs and holding them underneath Kili's nose. Whatever they were, they worked. Sure enough, Kili started to stir, blinking open his eyes with a low moan.

"Hey, Ki," Fili smiled, glad that he had his brother was back. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

But Kili only responded with a series of whimpers, and eventually cried out in pain.

"Oin!" Fili shouted. "What's wrong with him?"

"Well," Oin replied, "He's in a lot of pain. But I also fear he may be bleeding internally." Oin pressed on several different areas of Kili's stomach, earning winces and groans from him. When Oin barely touched the lower right side of his abdomen, Kili cried out, eyes brimming with tears.

"Stop! Please, stop," Kili gasped. "It hurts, Fili.."

Fili hated seeing his brother in so much pain. It made him feel so helpless. "Oin, what's wrong?" he asked, frightened of the answer.

"It's as I feared," Oin said gravely, looking between Fili and Thorin, who hovered in the corner with the other dwarves. "His appendix has been ruptured. I'm going to have to operate."

* * *

After Dwalin, Balin, and Gloin returned with Oin's surgical tools, Thorin had the three of them fetch Dis from the neighbour's. He did not want to keep her in the dark any longer; for he feared she would unleash a mother's wrath upon him if he did.

Kili had been moved to the dining room, where he lay on an old table that was never used. Thorin could almost feel Kili's pain emanating from him, creating a sorrowful mood in the room. He had always feared the day one of his nephews was severely injured, but he didn't know until now how horrible it felt. He wanted to curl up in a ball and scream, letting out all of the emotion of that day. But he couldn't. Of course he couldn't. He had to be strong. For everyone's sake.

Fili sat down near Kili's head, stroking his hair and watching Oin prepare a sleeping draught for Kili. _Thank Durin. I couldn't bear hearing him scream one more time, _he thought. But he knew he would have to, for there was a long road ahead of them.

Fili glanced out the window, watching as the first rays of sunlight started to peek out over the horizon. _Had it really been that long since he had found Kili?_ It was then that Fili realized how exhausted he was. He promised himself that if everything went well, he would let himself sleep.

After Kili slipped into a deep slumber from the draught, Oin began. He started by making a long incision, and then used a strange looking piece of metal to spread the cut wider. Fili cringed, praying that Kili would stay asleep.

It was a long and gruesome process, but finally Oin removed the appendix successfully and stitched up the wound. "He should sleep through the night; I gave him a powerful draught. But should he wake up, give him this," Oin said, holding up a bottle containing a green liquid. "It's for the pain, which he will have a great of amount of. And fetch me when he does wake. I need to check on his wounds and talk to him about how he feels."

Fili nodded, feeling slightly relieved. "So he's going to be okay?" he inquired.

"It will be a long and painful journey, but I believe he will recover." Oin said.

"A full recovery?" Thorin asked gruffly.

Oin sighed, clearly wanting to avoid the subject. "I cannot say at the moment. But in due time, I will know."

Thorin knew that Oin was talking about Kili's hand. It was wrapped for now, but there was no telling whether or not Kili would be able to use it again. Breaking news like that to Kili would rip his heart and soul apart.

He couldn't do that to Kili.

Thorin knew then, that the outcome of Kili's hand would make, or break him.

He hoped it wasn't the latter.


	7. A Mother's Wrath

Thorin had just lain his two nephews on their beds when the front door slammed. Dis, followed by Dwalin, stormed her way into the boys' room, face flushed and eyes red and swollen. She had obviously been crying. She immediately strode over to Kili's bedside, ignoring Thorin standing by the doorway. Dis knelt down beside her cherished son, stroking his sweaty brow with her thumb. After several long minutes, she finally spoke.

"What happened?" she asked, barely speaking above a whisper. She knew Kili, he normally did not sleep well, and she didn't want to wake him.

"Fili found him in a cave, buried underneath a pile of rocks. He barely made it out alive," Thorin whispered. He decided to hide the fact that Kili had actually _left_ them; he knew Dis would never be able to control herself from the news.

"Well what was he doing there in the first place?!" Dis snapped.

"You saw him yourself; he ran off again because..," Thorin paused, remembering the chaotic fight he had with Kili the previous morning.

"Because _what_?"

"Well...Kili was arguing with me and-" Dis snorted, rolling her eyes.

"What? What's wrong?" Thorin asked, his voice rising. "Don't be shy! Spit it out!"

"What's wrong? Oh okay, I'll _spit it out_. My beloved son is laying before my eyes, mangled and bloody, after a pile of rocks collapsed on him, and I had no knowledge of this until now? After he had his _appendix _removed? And better yet, you blame this on him for arguing with you? You are always the one yelling at him, and for what? What does he get out of it? _Nothing_. No, no. You do not get to blame him for this. The only person to blame here is you." Dis's voice had such a heinous edge to it, it shook Thorin right to the core, leaving him to shocked for words.

"All his life, he has tried _so hard _to live up to your expectations. Tried so hard to be like you," Dis continued.

"But he is a better dwarf than you will ever be."

With that, Dwalin stepped up from the corner of the room where he stood. "Dis," he said gently, "you are being irrational. What happened to Kili was nobody's fault; please do not blame this on Thorin."

It was almost as if a volcano erupted in the room.

"DON'T. YOU. DARE. YOU DON'T GET TO SAY THAT I'M BEING IRRATIONAL AFTER COMING HOME TO MY HALF-DEAD SON!" Dis exploded, making both Thorin and Dwalin jump.

Thorin approached her, grabbing her arm. "Dis, please. You are going wake him," he said soothingly, trying to calm her down.

_Smack. _Thorin stumbled as Dis's fist connected with his nose. He grasped his nose as warm blood oozed down his face. With a grimace, he looked up to see Dwalin awkward holding Dis as she half-cried, half-fought against his firm grip, finally giving in and slowly falling to the floor in dismay.

Dwalin glanced at Thorin to make sure he was alright. With a quick nod, Thorin went over and kneeled next to her, wrapping his arms around her in a gentle embrace.

"Shh...it's okay," Thorin whispered in her ear. "Everything is going to be fine."

"I j-just want m-my b-baby back," Dis said, sobbing into Thorin's chest.

"I know. We all do."

And they sat there in the corner of the room, shedding their sorrows that had been a heavy burden to them for the past day.

But their sorrows were not long forgotten.

Because just then, a dreadful scream resonated throughout the room, filling their hearts with dread.

Kili was awake.


	8. Why Do We Fall?

Kili writhed in his bed, twisting and thrashing against Thorin's arms pinning him down. He couldn't help but scream; his whole body felt like he was being burned alive.

Fili had awoken shortly after Kili; his screams were loud enough to wake all of Middle-Earth. "What's happening?!" Fili yelled, scared out of his mind. He had never seen his brother like this before.

Luckily, Oin had been passing by the house when Kili awoke. Barging in to the room, Oin rushed over and immediate began tearing off the bandage covering the stitches.

Oin cursed under his breath. "The stitches have reopened," he said gravely. "We need to apply pressure to wound to stop the bleeding before I can restitch it."

Meanwhile, Dis had fainted in Dwalin's arms. "Dwalin," Thorin said, motioning to Dis. "Take her to her room. She's had enough for one night." Dwalin nodded, hoisting Dis onto his back and carrying her out of the room. "Fili. Fili, look at me," Thorin said, snapping his fingers to get his attention. "I need you to focus. Kili needs your help, and you can't help him by standing there." But Fili remained motionless, eyes fixed on Kili. "Fili!" Thorin yelled, shaking Fili by the shoulders. "Now is _not _the time to stand around and do nothing! Fili, I know you're scared," he said gently. "But I need you to be strong. Be strong for your brother."

With these words, Fili looked up at Thorin, eyes filled with tears. "Okay," he whispered. "What do I need to do?"

Thorin smiled warmly at his nephew, proud of him for remaining strong in such dark times, before turning to Oin. "Oin. Tell us what we need to do."

Oin didn't hesitate before barking out orders. "I've just injected him with medicine for the pain, which should help, but not for very long. When he wakes up, he's going to be in pain. _A lot of pain._ So Fili, when he wakes up, do whatever you can to comfort him." Fili nodded nervously, moving to the end of the pain where Kili's head lay, twitching and soaking with sweat.

"And Thorin, I need you to take over keeping pressure on the wound. I need to prepare a salve to speed up the healing. We can't risk his stitches opening again."

Oin worked swiftly to prepare the ointment, mixing various different herbs and liquids. A short time later, a yellow cream was produced that smelled like a mix of honey and kingsfoil.

After examining the wound, Oin wrapped a bandage around Kili stomach, holding the gauze in place. "The bleeding needs to stop before I can stitch it together...We will have to wait."

And so they sat, Oin muttering to himself while both Fili and Thorin stared at Kili's wounds, as if the blood would stop flowing just by looking at it. None of them even noticed as Dwalin entered the room and sat at the foot of the bed, twiddling his thumbs. Birds chirped 'good morning' to each other as the sun lit up sky. They were all exhausted; none of them, save Fili, had slept a wink since they had found Kili in the cave. Thorin looked over at Fili, who held in his head in one hand, the other resting on Kili's forehead. Thorin couldn't help but admire the scene; the two brothers had always had an amazing bond with each other. They were literally inseparable, and always backed each other up when they got in trouble (which was more often than normal). Together, they made an outstanding team. Thorin couldn't bear to think what would happen if Fili lost Kili...

A soft groan suddenly interrupted his thoughts, disturbing the eerie silence in the room. Kili's eyes fluttered open as he whimpered in pain. "F-Fili...?"

"Shhh...I'm here," Fili responded, running his fingers through Kili's dark hair, trying to soothe him.

_I'm here._

* * *

Kili screamed with pain while Oin restitched the wound. It took all of Thorin and Dwalin's effort to hold him down, which was especially difficult given that he had injured most of his limbs. Fili remained at Kili's head, grasping his hand with one hand and holding his face to his with the other, their eyes locking.

"It h-hurts..F-Fili..," Kili gasped, squeezing Fili's hand tighter.

"I know, Ki, I know," Fili whispered. "Just keep your eyes trained on me."

Kili gave a slight nod, "I-I'll t-try," he said shakily.

Fili stared deep into Kili's eyes; they were the purest form of green, looking like the forest he so desperately clung to. They moved in an out of focus, but remained locked with Fili's eyes the entire time. Fili couldn't help but notice how his eyes made him look so much younger and more innocent, rather than the stubborn, proud dwarf he had grown to be.

Fili watched as Kili's blotchy eyes brimmed with warm tears, slowly falling down his cheeks. With a steady hand, Fili wiped them from his face with his thumb.

"You're doing great, Kili. Almost done," Fili said softly in his ear.

A watery smile formed on Kili's face. "I'm glad you're here...with...me," he said shakily, struggling to form the words.

Fili's own eyes started to fill with tears. "I always will, brother. _Always._"

Always.

* * *

Kili moaned quietly, relieved that the stitching was over. His whole body felt so numb, distant even, as if his mind was disconnected from his body. "Is it over...? Fi?" he asked.

"I believe the worst is over," Oin said, overhearing Kili's soft whispers. "However, I need to ask you a few questions before I can let you sleep."

"Ask...away," Kili breathed. He couldn't wait to sleep.

Thorin and Fili sat upright in their chairs. Now that the worst part was overwith, they were more than ready to get Kili fixed.

Oin asked him a series of questions while examining the rest of his injuries. His overall diagnosis consisted of a broken femur, along with the nasty gash above it, several broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a severe concussion.

"For the most part, everything should heal with proper care and treatment, and of course, time," Oin said. "As for your hand..." Oin faltered, looking upon the mangled mess of broken bones and gashes.

"What? Can't you fix it?" Kili questioned fearfully.

Oin sighed. "Well, I can try, but it's not going to be easy. All of your fingers and your wrist is broken. I fear you may not fully recover from this injury, Kili," he finished, refusing to look in the young dwarf's eyes, which were now wet with tears.

Kili looked to Fili for comfort. "Fili?"

Fili's eyes flickered to Kili's mutilated hand before looking at Kili. "Kili, remember when you were little, and you refused to do anything else before you climbed that big oak tree by the river? Do you remember that?"

Kili nodded slowly, eyes looking up to the ceiling as if he were watching the scene unfold.

"You were so stubborn. But you insisted on reaching the top branch. You were up their for almost a day until you finally reached it!" Fili exclaimed. "And then you practically tackled Thorin on the way down," Fili chuckled at the memory.

"Well this is a little bit like that. You just have to keep trying and trying before you get any results. You just have to keep climbing that tree, brother."

Kili frowned, mentally picturing how he would be able to climb a tree that high. "But what if I fall?"

"Do you know why we fall, Kili?" Dwalin piped up from the edge of the bed. "It's so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

"We have faith in you, brother." Fili smiled, squeezing his little brother's hand. "You can do this."

_You can do this._ Kili repeated it over and over again in his head, until finally a heavy thick blanket enveloped him in sleep once more.


	9. Fate

Thorin sat vigil at Kili's bedside, watching as his chest rose and fell. Fili sat on the other side, head resting on the edge, hand entwined with his little brother's. It had been a few hours since Oin had left, and while the rest of them had fallen into a deep sleep, Thorin found no peace in slumber. So he sat, keeping a watchful eye on his beloved nephews.

A soft knock on the door startled Thorin from his thoughts. The door cracked open to reveal Dis standing in the doorway. Thorin watched as her eyes, filled with sorrow, rested on Kili. She slowly pushed the door open and made her way across the room. Pulling up a chair next to Fili, Dis took her sons' hands in hers. After a few moments of silence, Dis looked over at Thorin. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," Dis whispered, not wanting to wake her sons. "I was not thinking."

"You were being a protective mother."

"Not protective enough," Dis motioned to Kili's mess of a body. "He didn't deserve this."

Thorin couldn't bring himself to respond. He knew how much Kili meant to Dis; he was her crowning jewel. Of course, Dis loved Fili just as much, but Thorin knew that she secretly favored Kili. Thorin noticed how her eyes lingered over Kili longer, how she gave him extra food at meals, how she talked to him more than Fili. Kili really had inhabited his mother's traits of boldness and overall stubborn attitude, while Fili took after his father, who was generally calmer and gentler.

Neither of the boys had really gotten to know their father, for he had passed just months before Kili's birth. Dis had been mortified over his death, and hadn't been the same since. Thorin worried that if she lost Kili, she would tear herself apart, abandon Fili, and fall ill from depression. Thorin was determined not to let that happen. He would rather die than have his family be destroyed.

"Dis," Thorin finally whispered, gently but firmly. "Get some rest. There's nothing you can do for him now."

Knowing she was fighting a losing battle, Dis reluctantly stood up and trudged out of the room. Turning one last time to look at her son's resting form, Dis said to Thorin,

"No matter what happens...promise me. Promise me you'll look after him. Promise me you'll always love him. Promise me."

Thorin looked deep into Dis's eyes, filled with sorrow and despair.

"I promise."

As the door closed behind Dis, Thorin looked back down at the sleeping brothers. "You'd better behave, Kili," he sighed. "Durin knows what Fate has decided for you."

* * *

Oin closed the door to Kili's room behind him, a sinister look on face. It had been two days since the surgery, and Kili had still not awoken.

Thorin abruptly leapt up from his seat at the table in the kitchen. He had been sitting there with Fili and Dis for over an hour while Oin tended to Kili. Noticing Oin's disturbed expression, Thorin sent Fili to Kili's room. "Go be with Kili. He's probably lonely," he said to him. Thorin knew Fili wouldn't take bad news about Kili well.

After Fili left the room, Oin, Thorin, and Dis huddled around the table. "What is it, Oin?" Dis demanded, fear growing in her eyes.

"Kili's wounds appear to be healing well. However, his fever is still lingering, and...," Oin paused.

"Oin, tell us what you know," Thorin said.

"His hand, Thorin. It's in terrible condition. All of the muscles are either bruised or torn, and all of bones are broken."

Both Thorin and Dis stared at Oin, awestruck. "Wh-what can you do?" Dis pleaded.

"There's not much I can do right now. I put it in a splint for now, but you both need to know that he may never regain mobility of his hand at all. There is a possibility he may regain some, but the chances are slim."

Dis's head fell into her hands as she silently wept.

"I'm sorry, Thorin," Oin said as he started towards the door. "I know how much he means to you."

"You saved his life. We are forever in your debt, Oin." Thorin said gratefully; Oin had always been a dear friend to Thorin and his family, but it wasn't until now that Oin had proved his services to be so helpful.

"It's the least I can do. He's a good lad," Oin closed the door behind him, leaving Thorin and Dis to swallow themselves in their pity.

* * *

Fili crumpled to the floor after hearing the news about Kili's hand. _How could this happen? What did he do to deserve this?_ Fili curled into himself. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to watch Kili suffer. He had enough.

Fili lay on the cold, stone floor. _What will become of him?_ Fili had seen the warriors who came back from battle without arms or legs. He had seen what happened to them.

_Fool,_ he thought to himself. _Kili is strong. He can get through this._

Could he?

Fili seated himself next to Kili once more, taking his cold hand in his.

Would Fate grant him a second chance?


	10. Fear

A high-pitched, shrill noise rang in Kili's ears as he stumbled through the darkness, endlessly searching for his brother.

"FILI!" he called out, his desperate voice echoing off the walls. His heart thumped against his chest, adrenaline pumping throughout his body as he continued to run despite the burning pain in his stomach. He needed to find his brother.

A loud rumbling sounded in the distance, shaking the earth to its very core. Kili's legs ran as fast they would allow him, his arms pumping at his sides.

The rumbling steadily grew louder and louder in his ears, the ground quaking beneath his feet. But Kili was blind. The only thing he could see was his brother's face shining bright above him as he fell into a deep, dark abyss.

Kili braced himself for the impact, but it never came. He just kept falling, becoming heavier and heavier as he was pulled into the earth's throat.

He heard his name shouted in the distance, a cold breeze across his face, the gentle touch of calloused hands around his..

And then the rocks piled on top of him, swallowing him once more.

* * *

Kili jolted awake, arms flailing around as he tried to defend himself from his imaginary avalanche.

"Kili! Kili, it's okay, it's me, Fili. You're fine, it was just a dream." Kili recognized that voice...

Eyes wide with fear and confusion, Kili looked up at Fili, who struggled to hold him down.

_Fili._

Kili immediately collapsed in his brother's arms, exhausted. A bright sheen of sweat coated his entire body from the fever.

"Shh..it's okay. I'm here," Fili ran his fingers through Kili's tangled hair, attempting to soothe him as sobs started to wrack his body.

"Kili? Kili, what's wrong?" Fili asked, alarmed at Kili's state. "THORIN!" Fili yelled frantically.

Thorin came bursting into the room, running over to Kili. "Kili, look at me." Thorin tried to take hold of his nephew's arm, but Kili shrank away, flinching at the touch.

"F-Fili," Kili whimpered, hiding in the protection of his brother's gentle embrace.

Thorin sat back, shocked at Kili's behavior.

"Hey, Ki, it's okay," Fili whispered, squeezing Kili's good hand. "It's just Uncle Thorin, he's not going to hurt you okay? He just wants to make sure you're alright."

Kili either didn't hear Fili or chose to ignore him, because he buried himself even further in Fili's chest.

"Kili. Look at me. Look at my eyes," Kili slowly shifted so that he was face-to-face with his brother. "That's it. Okay now I want you to promise me something okay? I want you to promise me that you'll let us look after you. Because you need our help if you want to get better, right? So I need you to let us help you okay? Please, Kili?"

"O-okay. I p-promise," Kili said, teeth chattering as he shivered.

Fili smiled warmly at his brother. He couldn't imagine how much pain he was in and how scared he must be. "Now I need to lay you back down okay?" Kili nodded, keeping his eyes locked with his brother's. They were the only things he recognized.

After Thorin and Fili laid Kili back down and settled him under the covers, Kili grasped Fili's hand. "Don't go," he pleaded, eyes filled with longing. "Please."

Fili gave a reassuring nod to Thorin before settling down next to Kili. "It's okay. I'm here."

_I'm here. _

* * *

Kili eyes eventually grew thick with exhaustion, and passed out a short time later. Fili continued to grasp his hand, eyes staring at Kili's pale frame.

Thorin looked warily at Fili. "Fili? Are you alright?"

Fili abruptly stood up from his seat, mumbled something about getting a wet cloth, and strode out of the room, leaving Thorin alone and confused.

Thorin sat next to Kili, watching his chest as it rose and fell. Kili looked so far away, even in his sleep, as if his mind were somewhere else. Kili often distanced himself from the ones he was closest to; Kili always said he had a hard time trusting people. But he never distanced himself from his older brother. To try and sever the bond they shared was like trying to fight in a losing war.

A loud crack sounded from the kitchen, bringing Thorin back to his wits. He looked back at Kili, who was now twitching and shuddering with every breath. His curiosity taking the better of him, Thorin left his nephew to figure out what had happened.

Thorin opened the door to the kitchen to find Fili slumped against the wall, arms wrapped around his chest like he was trying to squeeze all of his emotions out.

Thorin took a firm hold of his eldest nephew. "Shhh..it's okay, it's okay," Thorin whispered, pulling Fili into a tender embrace.

"I-I'm s-s-so sc-scared-d...," Fili sobbed into his shoulder. "I've n-never s-seen him like..like th-this!"

Thorin pitied his nephew. He couldn't even begin to imagine what he must be feeling. He was right; Kili was always the one with the cool composure, despite his foolish and somewhat stupid actions. But Fili always looked up to his brother for guidance, to tell him what to do, to lead him on in dark times.

But now Fili was going to have to lead Kili through this.

Thorin squeezed his nephew tighter. "I know, Fili. I'm scared too," As much as Thorin hated to admit it, he was genuinely frightened for his nephew's well-being. But he wasn't going to stand by and watch while he fell apart. "But we need to be strong. For all our sakes."

Fili looked up at Thorin, eyes red and bloodshot. "D-do you think he'll get better?"

"I'm sure of it," Thorin smiled confidently. He knew Kili would eventually recover at least somewhat.

_He will get better. _

_He will get better._

_He will get better._

_But will he be the same?_


	11. Betrayal

"Another nightmare?" Fili asked softly when his brother woke up screaming.

"Yes," Kili mumbled as he struggled to push himself up into a sitting position. Fili immediately took over, gripping underneath his arms and gently hoisting himself up. Kili avoided his brother's eyes, muttering a 'thanks' underneath his breath. He was grateful for his brother's help, but Kili hated feeling so helpless and vulnerable.

"How are you feeling today?" It had been three days since the first nightmare. Kili's fever had gone down, and his wounds were slowly starting to heal, but Kili looked the same-ragged and pale. He hadn't eaten anything in almost a week; the first time he tried Kili ended up throwing it up. His stomach couldn't handle any food, and Kili was growing weaker.

"Fine," Kili lied. In truth, Kili felt horrible. Every bone and muscle ached, his head felt like it was going to explode, and he was just so, so tired. It took all of his energy to keep his eyes open. But he put up a barrier anyway. He had shown enough weakness over the past few days, and he would be a coward to show any more.

"You don't need to lie to me, Kili. I'm your brother," Fili whispered. He was slightly hurt at the way Kili pretended to be fine; he knew he wasn't. He could see it in his eyes. They were cold and hard, but behind them lay a young, scared boy who was desperate and alone. Fili was more than willing to help him, but Kili refused to let him. "Let me help you."

Kili's eyes softened. He should be more thankful for his brother's actions. He had stayed by his side the entire time, unwavering.

"I'm sorry, I...," Kili faltered, at a loss for words. "I'm just so confused, Fi. And everything hurts."

"You have every right to feel the way you do," Fili squeezed Kili's hand. "I just want you to know that you're not alone. You have me, and mum, and Thorin. We're here to help you, Ki, but we can't help if you don't let us."

"I just hate feeling so helpless! I can't even sit up on my own!" Kili whined.

"I know. But that's just another obstacle that you'll have to overcome, Ki," Fili said. "It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. I know you can."

Kili looked deep into his brother's eyes. They were filled with a gentle warmth that made him feel safe. Protected. In that moment, Kili realized that the only reason Kili even bothered to keep his eyes open was his brother. His brother was his light at the end of this dark tunnel. His brother was his hope. "Thank you," Kili smiled.

"For what?"

"For being here when I need you the most."

Fili smiled, shrugging his shoulders. "That's what brother's do I suppose...It's no big deal, really."

"It is a big deal," Kili said. "Really."

_Really._

* * *

Thorin and Dis were seated at the kitchen table, eating their supper in silence. Fili was eating with Kili, who had been in a strangely good mood that he even ate a few bites of the soup.

Thorin broke the silence, "Kili seems happier today. Maybe he's feeling better."

"He certainly doesn't look better," Dis scoffed.

"At least he's eating."

"Hardly."

Thorin slammed his fist onto the table in sudden rage. "Why do you do that? Why do you act like there is no hope?"

"Because there is none!" Dis shouted. "Don't pretend that you know everything is going to be okay! You heard what Oin said. He has no chance, no hope!"

"You're acting as if he is going to die!" Thorin roared. "He may lose his hand, but at least he still has his life! He is still your son!"

"No," Dis said sharply. "My son is dead. That boy..that boy is _not_ my son." Dis was now kneeling on the ground, tears falling down her face. "My son is gone."

Thorin knelt down beside his sister, holding her chin up with his hand. "He is not gone, Dis...He is lost."

The shattering of glass and a loud yell erupted from Kili's room, tearing both of them from their thoughts. They looked up to see Fili standing at the entrance of the kitchen, an empty expression on his face. "He heard..he heard y-you," he whispered shakily.

All of the blood drained from their faces as they watched Fili's lips form those dreaded words, "He heard you."

Thorin could hear his heart drop to the floor. He had completely forgotten about the two boys in the next room over.

"H-he kicked me out," Fili breathed, eyes frozen. "I've never seen him so angry. H-his eyes..they reminded me of all the horrible stories about dragons and evil demons Balin told us about when we were l-little. And, and his voice, it was so deep and filled with hatred...," Thorin managed to catch Fili in time before he collapsed onto the ground, crying.

Dis sat crumpled on the floor. She felt so ashamed. Not only had she lost her precious son, but now he hated her. It was the worst feeling in the world.

Thorin knew that no word or action could comfort the maimed hearts of his family. He was utterly hopeless. He knew he was going to have to confront Kili; Dis was in no state, and he couldn't send Fili back in there. Thorin was going to have to face Kili's wrath alone.

He was so afraid.


	12. Everything

Thorin quietly opened the door to Kili's room and stepped inside before Kili could say anything. Shards of glass were scattered on the floor, and soup stained the wall where it had been thrown.

"Get. Out." Kili said from across the room. He lay on his bed, back to the door. Thorin could see his body shaking with anger under the blanket.

"Kili. I just want to explain," Thorin started, moving to sit on the stool by Kili's bed.

"I said, get _out_," Kili's words stung, lingering in the air. But Thorin stood his ground. Realizing that Thorin hadn't moved, Kili whipped around, ignoring his body screaming at him in pain. "What?" Kili snapped. "Are you here to tell me that I'm as good as dead? Newsflash: _I already know._ You must've missed my mum and uncle yelling at each other about it."

Thorin sighed. This was going to be a long night. "I'm here to tell you the truth."

"Oh, so _now_ you decide to tell me, after I've already found out? Found out that my life is over?" Thorin flinched at Kili's voice. He sounded so mature, yet weary. Fatigue was etched on his face; Kili wouldn't be able to go on like this much longer.

Thorin opened his mouth to speak, but Kili continued with his rant, his voice rising in volume with every word.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why am I _always_ the one left in the dark?"

"I'm sorry, Kili. We-" Thorin tried to defend himself, but was cut off.

"How _dare_ you come in here and say you're _sorry_. You don't get to be sorry! Not this time! I'M DONE! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK!" Kili had lost complete control; he was now half sitting, half standing, face red with anger. "GET OUT!"

Thorin was about to open the door when Kili cried out in pain. He spun around just in time to see him fall to the ground, clutching his side.

Thorin rushed over. "Kili, stop." Kili was pushing against Thorin with all strength. "Stop."

Thorin pulled him into a tight embrace, letting Kili sob into his chest. Thorin shed a few tears of his own; it broke his heart to see Kili like this.

Kili sobs eventually died down, he was now shaking uncontrollably. "Kili, let's get you back in bed," Thorin said, concerned. But Kili held onto Thorin even tighter. His eyes were clenched shut in pain, and sweat shined bright on his face and neck. "Kili, come on."

Kili responded with a low groan, followed by a whimper. "Kili? What is it?" Thorin was fraught with worry; he couldn't have something happen to Kili just as he was getting better.

"It hurts," Kili muttered.

"What hurts?"

".._Everything_."

* * *

About an hour later, Kili was settled back in his bed. Thorin leaned back in the chair, exhausted. _What am I going to do_, he thought to himself. Thorin looked over at Kili. His eyes were closed, his brow furrowed as if he were in deep concentration. His good hand twitched every so often, his breath catching. Kili had always had trouble sleeping; Thorin couldn't imagine how tired he must be.

Looking back on the rather one-sided argument, Thorin remembered how small he felt, which was a very rare feeling for him. Thorin was used to being the leader, the one everyone looked up to. Yet there he was, being antagonized by his own nephew..it was embarrassing. The fact that Kili, so young and inexperienced, was able to make Thorin feel tiny and insecure. Even..

_Afraid._

Why did fear always linger in the air when he was around Kili? What made Kili so intimidating? He was his cherished nephew for Durin's sake, he shouldn't fear him.

A soft knock on the door interrupted Thorin from his thoughts. He turned in his chair to find both Fili and Dis slowly walking across the room. Dis let out a soft moan at the sight of her son, while Fili stood, trembling.

"What happened?" Dis whispered, careful not to wake Kili and cause another uproar.

"He basically tore his throat apart yelling at me," Thorin said. "Then passed out from pain."

Fili moved over his brother. "What did he say?"

"A lot of things...," Thorin muttered. "He was mostly angry that we didn't tell him about his hand."

"He has every right to be," Dis breathed. "He's right; we shouldn't have kept that from him. And to find out the way he did...I know I would furious."

Thorin noticed how Fili's head had dropped to his chest. "Fili? What is it?"

"It's my fault. I should have told him...when I found out," he said shakily.

"You..you knew?" Dis asked.

"I overheard Oin tell you both the other night."

"Oh, Fili...If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I shouldn't have lost control like that. I was being stupid," Dis said, shaking her head.

Fili wrapped his arms around his mother. "I just wish this never happened."

"We all wish that," Thorin said. "We cannot change the past, Fili."

Fili looked up at Thorin, eyes filled with despair.

"But we can change the course of the future."


	13. An Unbreakable Bond

Fili rubbed his eyes for the twentieth time that day. He had a hard time sleeping; Kili had been in a coma every since the incident with Thorin, and it had been almost a week.

He had never been so scared for his brother's well being before. Every day, Kili's life teetered on the brink of death, and all Fili could do was sit by his brother's side and wait.

"You could try talking to him," Oin said to him one day. "There's an old myth that says when people are in a coma, they can still hear when people talk to them."

And thus the stories began. Fili talked and talked, about anything and everything. He talked about old memories they shared together, told stories passed on from Balin, and read books about great dwarven kings of old.

"You're being pretty selfish you know. It's not fair that you get to sleep while the rest of you take care of you," Fili said to Kili jokingly. "You can wake up any day now."

Fili's sarcastic smile faded from his face as he watched his brother's shallow breaths. High-pitched wheezing sounds escaped from his lungs; Kili was struggling for air.

"You can fight this brother. You're strong."

A coughing fit suddenly overcame Kili. Fili's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _This can't be good._

Fili jumped out of his chair and ran out the room, bursting into the kitchen where Thorin sat with his mother and Oin. "He-he's coughing," Fili panted. "He can barely breathe!"

A flash of fear and concern lit up Thorin's eyes. Coughing was _not_ a good sign.

As soon as they were gathered in Kili's room, Oin pulled out a series of medical instruments and began examining Kili. A few moments later, he turned to them, frowning. "He has pneumonia."

The sorrowful silence emanating from Kili's family spoke volumes. All of their hearts sank, thumping on the stone floor.

Noticing their depressing reactions, Oin continued. "The good news is we caught it early. Given proper treatment, I believe he can be cured."

A beacon of hope rose in Fili's chest. _Maybe there is a chance. "_Tell us what to do." Fili ready to climb the highest mountain, fight the largest army. Anything to save his brother.

Thorin was amazed at his nephew's courage. Then again, Fili always did something unexpected when it came to Kili. The bond they shared with each other was like no other.

"He will need to take this draught twice a day," Oin stated, holding up a vial containing a golden liquid. "He will also need to be given water periodically to prevent dehydration."

Oin poured the medicine into Kili's mouth, Fili keeping his jaw open. Given Kili's sour expression, Fili deduced that the draught didn't taste as appealing as it looked.

Oin placed a large box containing the rest of the medicine on Kili's bedside table. "Give him another one in the evening, and make sure you use all of them, even if he stops coughing," Oin said, pointing to about 20 more vials.

"When will he wake up?" Dis asked hopefully.

"There's no telling when he will wake, but I pray it will be soon," Oin muttered, hiding his fear. The longer the coma lasted, the more Kili's body would deteriorate.

* * *

After Oin left, which was around midday, Dis approached Fili.

"Fili, we know you're worried about him, but there's nothing more you can do. You need to rest," she said softly.

"I'm not tired," Fili lied. He refused to leave his brother when he _needed him most_.

Dis paused, as if thinking. "Well if you won't sleep, then at least come have some tea."

Fili nodded, not even needing a moment to think about it. Tea sounded excellent right then; he _was _feeling a little under the weather. Fili followed his mother out of his brother's room and into the kitchen, where Thorin was already making tea. He sat down as the large wooden table in the center of the room, hands nervously twitching under the table. Being away from Kili made him feel insecure.

A large, steaming cup of pine needle tea was placed in front of him. Fili wrapped his hands around it, smiling as the warmth spread through him. Lifting the cup to the lips, Fili let the sweet tea fill his mouth completely before swallowing. He could feel the warm liquid trickle down his throat and run throughout his body, remedying his sore throat and making him sleepy. He eyelids began to droop heavily, and before long, he was sound asleep, head on the table next to a full cup of tea.

"That worked faster than I thought," Dis chuckled, smiling at Thorin, who had secretly slipped a rather strong sleeping draught in the tea.

Gently lifting his nephew from the chair, Thorin carried Fili to his room, which was across the hall from Kili's. After he tucked the peaceful dwarf in his bed, Thorin returned to the kitchen, deep in thought.

"What is it Thorin?" Dis asked, noticing the odd expression on her brother's face.

"I just...I just can't imagine how Fili would cope if...," Thorin struggled to form the words. "If Kili died."

Dis gasped, dropping the dish she was cleaning in the washbasin. "Thorin! Don't speak like that. He's not going to die." Dis had been forced to find renewed hope ever since her argument with Thorin that sent Kili into a coma.

"I know, I know, but if he did...Fili would rip himself apart," Thorin said in realization.

"Not even Death itself can break the bond they share with each other. It is _unbreakable_."

_Unbreakable._


	14. Lost

Crisp, autumn leaves crunched under Kili's feet as he trudged through the forest. The moon shone bright in the sky, illuminating the endless path Kili was following. Here, in this particular forest, Kili felt weightless. There no pain, no anguish, no despair. The looming feeling of loneliness was gone; here he was free.

And Kili had never felt so _alive_.

Being in the forest heightened his senses. He could smell the soft scent of pine needle trees, the sweetness of the maple trees, the fresh tang of a different types of flowers. He could hear the gentle trickle of water in a nearby stream, the low hoot of a night owl sitting up in a tree. AmA voice calling him...

Kili whipped around, reaching to grab his bow. Quick as lightning, an arrow was nocked in the groove, the bowstring pulled taught. What Kili was aiming at was unknown to him.

"Where are you?!" he shouted, voice low and powerful. "Show yourself!"

"There is no need to be afraid, Kili, son of Frerin," a rich, female voice spoke from deep in the forest. "I am not here to harm you."

"Then why are you here?" Kili questioned. He refused to lower his bow until he was answered.

"I am here to help you," the voice replied.

"I don't _need_ help."

"Look at yourself, Kili. You're lost."

"I'm _NOT_!" Kili was starting to get frustrated.

"Then tell me, where are you?"

A sudden realization flashed in Kili's eyes.

_I don't know._

_I don't know._

_I don't know._

* * *

The warm rays of the sunshine shone bright on Fili's face as he blinked open his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so well; he had dreamt of a cool summer day spent with his family. Thorin and Dis were sitting outside, talking and laughing while munching on sweet, ripe strawberries fresh from the garden. Fili knelt by a tree nearby, intently watching as Kili polished his bow to perfection.

Fili smiled, cherishing the heartwarming dream. He only hoped his dream would become a reality.

Suddenly hungry for strawberries, Fili rolled out of bed, stretching his weary bones and sore muscles. It wasn't until he opened the door when he remembered.

_Oh Durin._

_Kili._

Fili strode across the hall to Kili's room, sweat forming on his brow. He _had _to see him. It was as if his life depended on it.

Fili stopped short once he reached the door. He heard muffled voices coming from inside. Pressing his ear against the wood, Fili recognized Thorin's low, serious voice and Dis's soft, gentle one whispering to each other.

"Look at him, Dis. He's getting weaker by the day. If he doesn't wake up soon...," Thorin cut himself off. He was too afraid to speak of the inevitable.

Dis was sitting on the edge of Kili's bed, cradling her son in her arms. "He's strong. He can get through this," Dis reassured. Although she wasn't sure if she was talking to Thorin, or herself at that moment.

Thorin sighed. He didn't doubt Dis's words, but wasn't entirely faithful. Kili's breaths grew steadily slower and fainter by the day, and he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to hold on.

"Dis. Look at me," Thorin said sternly. Reluctantly, Dis moved her eyes off of her son and looked into Thorin's. "You need to accept the fact that he is _dying_. And there is a chance that...he might not make it."

Before Dis could say anything, the door swung open to reveal a red-faced Fili standing in the doorway, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Thorin and Dis sat, frozen, as Fili made his way over to his brother's bedside.

"Fili," Dis started, moving to comfort her eldest.

"I want to be alone," he said abruptly, catching them off guard. "I want to be alone...with him," Fili's eyes moved over Kili's pale, limp form, chest rising and falling at a dangerously slow pace.

After Thorin and Dis had left, Fili moved closer to his brother, taking a seat in Thorin's chair. For a few moments Fili sat in a silent vigil, eyes filled with sadness.

"I always knew you were trouble," Fili spoke, "ever since the day you were born," Fili smiled at the memory. "But you can stop now."

Fili watched his brother's sleeping figure with renewed anger. "Kili!" he yelled, growing frustrated; he was tired of waiting. "WAKE UP!"

Thorin burst into the room, grabbing Fili from behind. "Stop this, Fili. You're aggravating him!" Kili was now shaking and twitching uncontrollably on the bed.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay," Dis whispered in Fili's ear as she knelt on the floor next to him while Thorin tried to calm her youngest son. Kili's seizure eventually died down, but his body gave a sudden twitch every now and then.

"I'm so sorry," Fili sobbed into Dis's shoulder. "This is all my fault..."

Thorin shot a surprised look at his crying nephew. Kneeling down next to his family, Thorin cupped Fili's face in his hands. "Fili..If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I'm the reason he ran off. If only I hadn't yelled at him like that...I would give _anything_ to take back what I said. He didn't deserve it, nor does he deserve this."

Fili poured into Thorin's cloudy, dark eyes, admiring his courage to say that. Thorin wasn't usually the one to confess. "I just wish there was something I could do to help him," Fili said mournfully, glancing at his sickly brother with sorrow.

"All you need to do is be there for him. He needs you just as much as you need him," Dis said.

Fili stood up, inhaling a deep breath and walking over to Kili. "Okay.." he said shakily. "I'm ready."

If only he knew what was to come.


	15. Choices

"Who are you?"

A bright light shone ahead, illuminating Kili's face and sending new found warmth throughout his body. "A guardian," the voice said.

Kili's jaw dropped as a tall, slender figure stepped out from the shadows into the clearing. Before him stood a creature unlike any other; she was tall, with long, golden waves of hair flowing freely down her back, and fair skin. Kili had never seen anything so beautiful.

"I am Galadriel, the White Lady of Lothlorien."

Kili sat on the forest floor, frozen in shock. "You...you're an elf."

"Yes."

"And I'm a dwarf."

"Yes."

Kili yelled in frustration, clutching his head with his hands. "What's happening to me," he whimpered.

"Let me show you."

A familiar scene unfolded before Kili's eyes. A sleeping figure lay on a bed in the corner of a room, while another figure knelt beside the other. Kili gasped when he realized the two figures were him and his brother.

Tears welled in his eyes at the sight of Fili. He would give _anything_ to see his brother again.

As the scene washed away, Kili stood and turned to Galadriel. "I have to go back, don't I?"

Galadriel smiled gently at the young dwarf. "That is for you to decide."

"I-I have a choice?" Kili questioned, taken aback by her response.

"It's your life, is it not?"

* * *

Fili blinked open his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice. "Good morning, sweetheart," Dis smiled warmly at him.

Sitting up in the bed, Fili noticed he wasn't in Kili's room.

"We moved you here after you fell asleep at Kili's side...you just looked so uncomfortable," Dis explained, noticing the questioning look on his face.

"How is he?" Fili asked, voice hoarse from the previous night.

Dis looked out the window, eyes filled with longing. "It's not good, Fili. Oin says the chances of him waking up are slim, and even if he does, the road to recovery will be extremely long and painful."

Fili refused to accept the fact that his brother might die. "No, no. He's going to be fine...yes. He's going to wake up."

Dis's lips trembled as she forced a smile. She admired her son's hope.

She only hoped it would last.

* * *

"Come on, Kili. I know it's hard, but you need to ride through it," Fili said to his little brother as he knelt at his bedside. "Even if you want it all to stop..even if you want it all to end yourself, you need to find something worth hanging on to and keep your mind on that."

Fili's eyes scanned Kili's face, desperately searching for any form of response or recognition.

"Kili..." Fili continued, running his fingers through his hair. "I know you probably can't hear me, but I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No matter what happens. You will forever be my brother, and my best friend."

* * *

Kili's eyes shot open, throat gasping for air as his lungs failed to cooperate. The first thing Kili noticed was the sharp throb in his skull, making him nauseous.

And then the pain came.

Kili screamed so loud, it felt as though his vocal chords were being ripped to shreds. But no matter how much he screamed, nothing could extinguish the searing hot flames engulfing his body.

Kili didn't even register the door to his room flying open, or his brother furiously shaking him at his side.

The only thing he felt was pain.

Fili grabbed his brother's hand, holding it tight. "Kili! It's okay, it's okay, I'm here!"

Hope rose in Fili when Kili's eyes latched onto his. _Don't leave_, they screamed.

"I won't."


	16. Pain

"Fili..." Kili murmured, grabbing his brother's hand and looking into his eyes. "H-help me."

Fili frantically turned to Thorin, who was already bolting out the door, shouting, "I'll fetch Oin!"

Fili knelt beside his brother, trying to calm him. Kili was shaking violently, crying out as the pain steadily intensified. Dis sat on the other side, rubbing a wet cloth over his sweaty face. "Everything's going to be okay, brother. Just hold on."

_Hold on._

_For me._

* * *

"Where...where is she...?" Kili said, gritting his teeth as his body throbbed with pain.

Fili furrowed his brow in confusion. "Who..mum? She's right here."

Kili glanced at his mother, eyes blank. "No..the tall one..with the blonde hair..-"

"There's no one else here, Kili. You're just confused," Fili said, cutting him off. Fili was starting to get worried; he knew that any form of hallucinations were a bad sign.

Kili sighed, defeated. He sunk back into the mattress, hissing from the ache in his muscles.

"Take it easy, Ki. You've been out for a while," Fili continued clutching his brother's hand, squeezing it every so often as if he was manually pumping the blood through his veins. "Just stay strong."

As if on cue, Thorin burst into the room, Oin trailing behind him.

"Thank Durin," Dis exclaimed as she rushed to make room for the healer and her brother.

"Kili," Oin said calmly, firmly gripping him by the shoulders as his body twisted and contorted in pain.

"Fili..Fili! Don't let them hurt me!" Kili yelled. His eyes were wide and full of confusion as he desperately clutched onto Fili for life.

This sudden outburst from Kili alarmed them all, especially Fili. Did he not remember them? Fili could feel the fear coursing through his veins; it didn't occur to him that although his brother had awoken, he was still the damaged boy crushed beneath the weight of rocks. He glanced at Oin, who stood on the other side of Kili, his shoulders slacked and his eyes dark. "Oin..?"

"It's as I feared," he murmured, eyes darting to Dis and Thorin before motioning to the door.

Fili moved to join them outside the room, but Kili, with what little strength he had, held him back. "Please don't go," he whispered. "I'm so scared."

"It's going to be okay, Kili. Trust me on this," Fili said, trying to ignore the abrupt whimpers and cries from his little brother as he writhed on the bed in pain.

But the thing about pain, is that it _demands_ to be felt.

* * *

As Oin, Dis and Thorin made their way into the hallway, Thorin spoke. "Oin, what is it? Why doesn't he remember us?"

Oin looked gravely into Thorin's eyes. "In cases regarding comatose states, the brain is impaired, caused by intracranial pressure. This pressure just so happened to be so severe, it led to memory loss."

"Is it permanent?"

"There is no way of knowing...but I have faith this is only temporary. With time, I do believe his brain will heal, and he will regain most of his memories."

Dis began to sob, grabbing onto the wall for support. "What...what can we do?"

"Be patient and gentle. Try to avoid loud noises," Oin said, glancing at Thorin, "and remember that there is a strong chance he will remember everything."

Oin dismissed himself, making his way to the kitchen to gather his supplies to treat Kili. Meanwhile, Thorin paced down the hall, trying hard to contain his anger and leave the wall adjacent to him intact. Dis turned to him, face puffy and red. "It's going to be okay, we can get through this, Thorin...I think we just need to have some faith."

"Faith? Faith in what? Kili? Dis, he doesn't even _recognize _us."

"Maybe not now, but he is strong. He'll pull through."

Thorin didn't respond. Instead, he pressed his forehead against the stone wall and shut his eyes. _How can I have faith_, _if I don't even have faith in myself_?

* * *

"Fili, it hurts..," Kili whimpered into the pillow. "I...I can't, it hurts, help me."

"Just keep your eyes on me, alright?" Fili said as he continued to squeeze his brother's good hand. He couldn't help but tear up at the sight of Kili; anything to prevent him from having a breakdown right in front of his little brother.

Kili looked deep into his brother's bright grey eyes. "Y-you...you brought me back. I was dead, and you were still there."

Fili couldn't form the words to respond, so he waited for Kili to catch his breath and continue. "I'm so sorry, Fili...I wanted to let go...but d'you know why I stayed? Because of...you. You are the one thing...I believe in, the...one thing...I care about...and I want to be there...for you..._always_."

Fili couldn't hold back the wave of tears any longer. "I'm so happy you're back, Kili. I was so lost without you."

"I was...too. Maybe...we can be lost...together...because sometimes it's better...to walk with a...friend...in the dark...than walk alone...in the light."


End file.
